Monday, September 29, 2008

No pity party here!!!

I don't post for a week and now three in one night!!! Aren't all 3 of you lucky!!!! A post for each of you.

Anyway - I started reading a book by Dr. Laura at the Laundromat tonight. "Stop Whinig and Start Living." Great title, huh?

We all know Dr. Laura, common sense and the truth even if it's harsh and or it hurts. Has anyone ever heard her talk to someone on her radio program who she didn't berate? I wonder why people continue to call in. Do they honestly expect a pity party or sympathy? They are going to the wrong place if so, they must not listen to her program very often.

I used to have a boss that listened to her every afternoon in his office to laugh at the people who called in and the straight talk from Dr. Laura.

Anyway, even before I picked up this book, I had been thinking about my week last week. Single parenting is for the birds! I have great admiration for parents out there who have to do it all the time because of their circumstances. I missed my hubby and all he does.

When husbands are home, wives can usually only see the laundry on the floor, the dishes left out, the toilet seat up, but let me tell you, when mine was not home, I noticed the lack of an extra set of hands to hand off a crying toddler, the lack of time to read with each child, supervise everyone's homework, bathe everyone, run everyone where they need to be, and the list goes on. God definitely designed families to have two parents!!

Dr. Laura's whole point is to live in the now and look at the positives in your life, not the negatives. I pray that God continues to help me focus my life that way....( not that it's not okay to vent now and then).

Reminds me of Phillipians 4:8
"Finally, brethren, [Rom 14:18; 1 Pet 2:12] whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. "

Sympathy and Empathy

I got to wondering about the difference between the two the other day. defines sympathy as the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, esp. in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration. It also defines empathy as the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

To me it seemed like splitting hairs and I did what we all do now when we are curious about something - I turned to the internet. I ran a search on Empathy vs. Sympathy and found the views of a psychologist, Lawrence J. Bookbinder, Ph.D. - This is what I found interesting -

"This sharing of the painful feelings of another person is characteristic of both sympathy and empathy. However, the person using sympathy would pay more attention to the pain than to the love for the father whereas the person using empathy would pay equal attention to the pain and love.

If the friend added "I'm sorry for your loss," this statement would also be characteristic of sympathy, but not of empathy. The person using empathy would share the grieving man's emotional pain, but not necessarily feel sorry for or pity him. Of course, one can use both sympathy and empathy, for example: "I feel your pain and also your great love for your father. I'm sorry for your loss."

(This is not an endorsement of this psychiatrist or psychiatry in general. I do not know this man - I just found his observation interesting.)

The reason that I got on this tandem of thinking is that Gigi cries anytime she hears anyone else cry. Her brother or sisters cry, she cries. Mom cries, she cries. Another kid in the doctor's office, grocery store, church nursery etc. cries, she cries. And get this, if someone on television cries, she cries!! (It's actually a hoot!) I was wondering what was going on in her little head. If she was sympathizing or panicking or if the right term was empathizing, etc.

Anyhoo, what do you think? Is there a difference?


Okay, it wasn't for designer shoes, clothes or purses, but I did get to do some shopping today!!

I bought a new clothes dryer!!! Everybody say yeah!!!!

Why is it that when your husband has a week of laundry and nothing to wear to work that the 15 year old dryer decides to die (and I mean DIE)?

God did bless me with a sale at Sears and a ultra quick delivery date (tomorrow), so hubby will have to only wear dirty clothes one day!!! (just kidding.)

Monday, September 22, 2008

when the cat's away..

the mice will sleep?

hubby out of town
went to bed at 9:30 last night after church, soccer game, birthday party (hour away), and visit to grandma & grandpas
had nightmares both nights hubby's been out
nothing good to watch on tv
whiny tired kids after "the most awesome field trip ever" (their words, not mine)

No good chick fliks on demand.

where's the sleeping pill when you need it?

80s throwback continued

Did you see Dancing with the Stars tonight? I didn't get to see the whole show, but Edyta and her partner (some comedian I've never heard of) danced to "Play that funky music white boy" and she had on , get this, chiffon "legwarmers" !!!!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Electric Company

When I was in high school, I had a friend whose mother chased her around the house chanting the name of the local electric company when my friend left a light on when she left the room. At 14, I obviously thought she was crazy with a capital C!

Now I know, she was a mother who was DRIVEN crazy (that doesn't sound like proper Englsih...)

Tuesday evening hubby and I went different directions. He went with kiddos to soccer and I went out to bible study. They left before I did and I thought that I should examine all their fingers later, because they were obviously broken. I walked around the house and turned off 10 lights and one ceiling fan. (Yes, I counted them!!)

Cut the Cord

We took away Gigi's paci two days ago. (nevermind my last post about silence, there isn't much right now at bedtime and naptime.....) We had her down to just naptime and bedtime for a week or two, except of course for the paci tucked away by her and "found" while playing. Since she hasn't had one in a couple of days, I think she has either forgot where those treasures are or I have snatched them all away.

Pray for me. The 20 minutes or more of crying is wearing on my nerves.

Next tackle is the bottle, but I think I'll wait a little while......

For my sake, if not hers.

Silence is Golden

There was a time in my life when I couldn't bear a moment of silence. I studied with the TV or radio on, I cleaned with the radio on, I even slept with the radio on sometimes. Silence was my enemy.

Now, as every mom can attest, silence is a commodity. Really, it should be traded on the NYSE or NASDAQ. I'm sure it would do well with mommies around the world.

Anyway, anymore when I find myself alone in the car (which is rare), I turn off the radio and enjoy the silence. It's a good time to pray and listen and rest. Of course you can only rest to a certain degree while driving, but you get the point. Tuesday evening I found myself alone in hubby's car and I rolled down the windows, enjoyed the breeze and listened to the cicadas. It was not complete silence, but it was glorious....

I had to roll down the windows anway because hubby's car is perpetually stinky!

Monday, September 15, 2008

80s again?!!

Wasn't the 80s bad enough a fashion mistake the first time around?

I went shopping with Sha Sha Sunday afternoon and was floored by all the 80s influences.

Check this out, rolled sleeves (in the 80's worn with two layered pairs of slouch socks...)

It is probalby hard to see in this pic, but yes, these are "skinny jeans" with pinstripes AND ankle zippers!!!

and what outfit wouldn't be complete without a pair of ankle boots!!

You also can't forget the bangle bracelets (which we also saw) and legwarmers (only if you don't have the slouch socks) .

I hope we don't see "side" ponytails anytime soon.

I should have kept all my clothes from high school. Who am I kidding, I haven't been able to wear a size 7 since then....

BTW - Hubby was playing Axel F on the keyboard in the synthezizer voice while I typed this post. If that doesn't have you ROFL than you must be too young to be reading this.....

Divergent realities?

I was thinking the other day about people that I know and what we have in common. I thought about how different paths I have taken and decisions that I have made in my life have caused me to meet some very interesting people.

I think about some of my current friends and how I wouldn't have met them if we had moved somewhere else after college. I think about friends made in college and how we would not have met them unless we went to school where we did. And on, and on...

Obviously God can use you where ever you are planted and use others planted around you to touch your life, and I don't wonder about what might have been. Quite on the contrary, I wonder about what might NOT have been.

If you would have told me 15 years ago that I would be where I am today and who I am today, I would have thought you were crazy. God has different plans than ours. I realize that the decisions were mine to make, but God has been faithful to "work it all for good".

I don't know that I am getting where I really wanted to go with this post....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Selective memory

With 4 1/2 years between the boy and Gigi, I forgot a lot of things. I forgot about how expensive disposible diapers were. I forgot about the joy of all the firsts that come so rapidly in the first 2-3 years. Gigi started saying "no" this week. It is still enjoyable and everyone laughs at her as she shakes her finger at you. I forgot about the nap battle and the planning around naps (although with a 4th, everything is more laid back).

I had forgotten about the doomed meal prep time with the baby hanging and/or hanging on the leg....

I commented to a pregnant morning sick friend the other day that God blesses us with selective memory so that we can go forth and populate the earth......

Monday, September 8, 2008


Techie hubby finally has his own blog! He is also much funnier than me....

Check it out!!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Come and Get It!!

I like cooking. Really cooking. Not just meal preparation. (We discussed the difference at a Bible study earlier this week). Lasagna, Cashew Chicken, Chili, Homemade Soups, etc.
But I only enjoy cooking when I can do it without a million interruptions and distractions. With 4 kids under the age of 10, that doesn't happen....

There are always tussles to mediate, homework to check, books to read, sippy cups to fill, a baby clinging to a leg screaming, a baby in a cabinet, someone crying because they scraped a knee, soccer clothes to find and wash, soccer practice to get to, etc.

SO, I resort to meal prep sometimes. We grilled hot dogs for lunch yesterday and being the frugal mom, I don't want leftovers to go to waste. Tonight we had macaroni and cheese with hot dogs and pears. When my children came to the table and saw dinner their response was, "This is the Best Meal Ever!!!!" Only if you are under the age of 10!!